The Intimacy Deception, Balancing Hormones and the Noggin

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and males utilize love to obtain sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where songs analyze good sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther since for these songs, having sex carries enormous significance and consequences.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:

A.they believe sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be good also).

B.more frequently, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with truth when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body responds to somebody we are attracted to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), makings the chance to make love with someone we are attracted to extremely difficult to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which browse around this site acts upon the hypothalamus to produce feelings), that makes us feel very near to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical reactions are involuntary and strong , leading to powerful sensations of attraction, excitement, love, nearness, and wellness .

However when problems develop, those who fall under the Sex Trap typically rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is terrific!" They more than likely would not confess it, however they focus on physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their main scouting tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay men, says that much of his clients have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay males specifically in urbane areas, sex is readily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be great?".

North adds, "I suspect this is a ' man' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to mention that chemistry is view it essential. Yet, chemistry is a provided that official site we cannot control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry happen, though sometimes it can grow over time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you must balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This means integrating chemistry with good sense. While excellent sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner options by paying full focus on your vision, worths, requirements, and goals -- while feeling all those amazing triggers!

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