The Sex Pitfall, Balancing Hormones and the Head

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and males utilize love to get sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where songs analyze excellent sex as love. However those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther due to the fact that for these songs, having sex carries enormous meaning and effects.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A.they think sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be excellent as well).

B.more typically, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they make love.
So, rather than looking at whether this other individual might be a match on levels aside from physical destination-- such as long-term requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with reality when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body reacts to someone we are brought in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases sexual desire), that makes the chance to make love with someone we are drawn in to extremely you could try here difficult to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are uncontrolled and strong , resulting in effective sensations of destination, excitement, well-being, closeness, and love .

When issues occur, those who fall into the Sex Trap often justify by believing, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is great!" They more than likely wouldn't admit it, but they focus on physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their primary hunting tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay men, says that a lot of his customers have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay males especially in cities, sex is readily offered, which in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, with its focus on physical look, motivates sex. Numerous gay men desire to discover out from the beginning if a prospective partner is going to be sexually suitable. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be good?".

North adds, "I think this is a ' man' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to point out that chemistry is crucial. Chemistry is a given that we cannot control in a resource relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry happen, though in some cases it can grow gradually.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication diminishes and reality hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you need to balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This suggests integrating chemistry with sound judgment. While excellent sex is very important for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner choices by paying complete focus on your vision, goals, values, and requirements -- while feeling all those exciting triggers!

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15

Comments on “The Sex Pitfall, Balancing Hormones and the Head”

Leave a Reply

Gravatar