The Sexuality Deception, Balancing Hormones and the Head

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and guys utilize love to get sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs translate good sex as love. However those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther since for these songs, having sex carries immense meaning and consequences.

Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they believe sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be great also).

B.more frequently, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they have sex.
So, instead of looking at whether this other individual might be a match on levels besides physical attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with truth when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body responds to somebody we are brought in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), makings the chance to have sex with someone we are brought in to extremely tough to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce feelings), makings us feel extremely near and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical reactions are strong and involuntary , resulting in powerful feelings of destination, enjoyment, wellness, love, and nearness .

But when problems occur, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically justify by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is terrific!" They most likely wouldn't confess, but they prioritize physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their primary scouting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay guys, states that a lot of his clients have fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay males particularly in city locations, sex is readily available, and that in itself is my company a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be great?".

Nonetheless, North includes, "I think this is a 'guy' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to explain that chemistry is important. Yet, chemistry is a given that we can't manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry happen, though often it can grow with time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you must balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This suggests integrating chemistry with sound judgment. While great sex is important for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying full focus on your vision, worths, goals, and requirements -- while feeling all those amazing triggers!

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